When the rain comes...

I really don't know how to put into words the things that I wish to say. I'll try starting this way.
Have you ever heard the old saying, "When it rains, it pours," ? As cliche and outdated as it sounds, I find it to be a true statement. In life's countless struggles, the only times we as humans ever truly acknowledge the rain fall in our lives is when it is coming down in droplets the size of golf balls.

These monstrous droplets of rain represent every bad situation that could happen at this time in my life. The funny thing about water is it sticks to itself; the more droplets you have, the bigger the puddle. It would seem that the puddles turned to lakes, and the lakes to oceans and it is still flooding.

This analogy is the best way to describe how my life is going right now. Now you don't have to worry too much, I am still swimming. I haven't given up hope yet....just not sure of things to come. This past week it all came down....things that I have been trying so hard to hold together fallen apart. I've been putting on a good front...not too many people would have noticed. Wednesday was the worst....I broke down. I don't let myself break down. Thursday and Friday weren't the best of days either.

It was during those moments when the clouds burst dropping larger and larger droplets of rain upon my already sinking ship.

I'm reminded of a dream I had a while back. I was at the helm, but only a portion of the massive wheel was visible to me. The other part was hidden inside a box. I struggled long and hard to pull the wheel out of the box, trying to gain more control of the vessel. With a huge pull the box disappeared and the wheel folded itself four times leaving a fraction of its former glory. What does this mean? I'll let you decide. Why I decided to share it, I'm not too sure.

Now I find myself very water logged and weary, but I still go on. Time will help. Sorry loyal readers if I sound too depressing.

I don't normally like to talk about my problems simply because they are my problems, mine to deal with, and mine to fix, mine to let fall apart, mine to wish they belonged to someone else. Are they challenges to strengthen character? Maybe. At least that is the thinking of great men. Thinking of someone stronger than me, a more perfect person. Maybe I should try talking to him.

The funniest thing is, that the day it all came crashing down...Wednesday, it snowed... My rainy day turned colder crystallizing the droplets... That's all I have to say about that.