Somewhere out there...

While reading a friends blog post, I came up with some questions that I figured I'd flesh out in my own blog post.  I really enjoy reading her blogs.  In a more recent one she responds to a male readers comments.  It was very good, but I was still left wondering something that I've been thinking of quite a lot about of late: where do you find the good and decent people that we are ultimately looking for?

 To say that the dating pool is shallow is an understatement.  Since moving to Utah, I've barely gone on any dates.  Granted most of that is my own fault for not asking such and such out when I had a chance. But Even after not asking said one or two girls out, I find the places where with to meet/get acquainted with potentials to be very limited.

Singles wards seem to be filled with the girls on the younger side of things that are still naive to the way the world works.  Strangely enough, I'm looking for someone a little over 24, which is a rare sight to find in Utah.  It seems most get married off before that age, and if they are single at 24 or above, they are divorced and/or have kids.  I don't mean to sound shallow, but that isn't what I'm looking for.  And yes it is rare in this day in age, but I am looking for a virgin.  When debating moving to Utah, finding a potential spouse wasn't the only thing that influenced my decision, but knowing that it is a state with many LDS people, it was on my list.  Worse still is that my job limits me from going as often as I'd like, so I really don't have any friends or social contacts in said ward.  Which of course makes it harder to want to keep going if you don't have any friends you can relate to.

Through the years, I've found that looking for potentials at work is a really really bad idea.  For starters, if things get going, then end badly, well you still have to work together.  Still have to see each other all the time until one or both leaves the company.  For anther, there just aren't any good looking girls in my current job.  Honest.  There just isn't.  I take that back, there have been a few good looking girls, just not ones that are my type.  They just had some other baggage that turned me away (boyfriend, married, kid, not LDS, nose ring/tattoo). And you wouldn't believe how many pregnant girls came though last season.  Also working where I work, single potential dates don't often walk through the door.

As far as my chosen social activities, there are few there as well.  I like to participate in theatre and act when I can.  The shows I usually get into happen to be on the community level.  Now I'm not going to dis community theatre today, that deserves its own blog with varying degrees of quality depending on where and who is producing.  That being said, I've met a few potentials in said places.  The first one, was fun, but I knew right away that she wasn't right for me.  Call it what you will, I just knew that we weren't a good fit.  So I didn't pursue.  The second I met though the same theatre company.  This girl was fun, enjoyable, and I even had an in: she didn't have a car, and I could drive her to the show.  At first I didn't think of her in that way.  It wasn't until we were in a second show together at a different location (and yes I drove her there too).  We got to a point of silence while driving to the rehearsals.  I didn't know how to bridge the gap.  I wasn't sure if it was a silence of "I like you, but don't know how to pursue", or "you are just a weird guy, but thanks for the rides".  I like to think it was somewhere closer to the first.  But it turned out that I didn't know how to go about it, and left things as they were.  She is Married now.  It was fun, but just slightly awkward to go to their wedding reception.  As far as others I've met in theatre, its only after that I find out how awesome a female is and they we have a lot in common that I find out that they are married.  Needles to say, I'm not holding my breath at finding someone though theatre pursuits.

Should I spend money and try out the new age of looking online?  For as well all know, there are no crazies online. I have had my profile and a few pictures up on certain dating sites for a few years now.  Don't judge me!  The main problem, aside from the insane online, is that you have to pay money to be able to send an e-mail or chat with others that could be found on that site.  The sites even go so far as to remove e-mail address' that I put in my profile so that people could contact me.  In hindsight it is smart to not have your e-mail just hanging out there for the world to see like phone numbers and address' on Facebook.  As far as the money for full access, I have yet been unwilling to bite the bullet on that one.

Does one need to go back to college to try and land a potential mate?  Or at least to find people to date?  When i was in college, there were plenty of single people that were willing to go on dates.  Sadly enough I didn't ask too many out.  Most of my dates I actually went on after the girl asked me out.  Only with one did I go on a second date with.  She asked.  But no third.  She tried, but I declined.  She was one of those crazies that just wanted to get married at 19, just after high school without maturing beyond the high school dating methods.  Not only was I not ready for marriage then, but she wasn't sane enough for my liking.  Needless to say, the very next guy she dated she married.

So at the moment, I don't know of anyone that I could ask out, just for a friendly date.  The potential pool is pretty much dry.  I'm unsure where to go or what to do to find dates.  I know it should be the guy that asks, but I don't even know where to find anyone anymore.

Maybe I just need to listen to the advice that I got from my Cousin's soon to be Husband.  To Preface, my cousin is one of those awesome single LDS girls just over the age of 30.  She has been friends with her intended for quite a few years, and their story is really intriguing. When I first met him, I could instantly tell that he was one of those awesome guys and that they would be great together.  He said to me on that occasion, that he realized that he needed to work on the person that God wanted him to be, and things seemed to fall into place as he was doing that.  As I strive to work on making myself a better person, I'm still left wondering where do I meet people whom I may date?