Today I have a post that I've been meaning to post for about two weeks now.
Not too long ago I was having a conversation with a male friend and a female friend. Their names shall remain hidden for the sake of I don't want to tell everyone in cyberspace who they were. So there. Conversations with these two are always interesting and unique. They have varying opinions on relationships, and wouldn't you know it, the conversation turned towards relationships. My male friend spoke about a girl that he had wanted to date. She gave the excuse to end all excuses, "I'm planning on going on a mission." Now this is only listed here as an excuse to illustrate or drive home my friend's point. That is to say that my opinion will be stated later, this is his opinion. He found out that the girl was engaged a short while after, thus confirming that she was using going on a mission as an excuse.
Now going on a mission is a wonderful thing, for anyone male or female. For the female it isn't expected of them to do so. They choose if they want to or not. Some females think that since they aren't in a relationship or married by the time they reach the ripe old age of 21 that they might as well go on a mission. So feel that they should go way before they reach this age. Usually the ones that do this put off dating, or are more selective in the dating process than they would be if not planning such an excursion. My male friend believes that women only use this as an excuse to not date somebody.
It was about this time that my female friend stated that maybe the girl had all intentions of going on a mission then something prevented her. In this case it was a marriage. Some women do that. They feel that they have every intention of going, then something prevents it from happening. She then said that she herself had told someone that she was going on a mission, then three weeks later she was dating someone. Obviously my friend hadn't gone on a mission or she wouldn't have been there talking with us at that point. I was taken back a little that she mentioned said story. She also said that sometimes women have every intention of going. That is where the fault lies is in the intention.
At that point I should have brought up the time where a girl had told me she was going on a mission, but then didn't. A girl who I have had feelings for since the time we worked together and was having a difficult time trying to tell her so. She had a boyfriend when we first met, but I was still hopeful. Winter came, her boyfriend left, and the thought came to her that she should go on a mission. Don't get me wrong, it was a noble thought for her to want to do this. A mission is a wonderful thing. There is nothing like preaching the gospel for 18 months or 2 years. I heard that she was going, and I felt that I couldn't let her go without telling her how I felt about her. On a side note, she to this day hasn't told me how she felt about me. I was supportive of her going, but couldn't help feel like she just wanted to get away. Get away from her life for a while; go someplace new where she could think and sort everything out. I believe that she believed she had every intention of going. To me, it seemed like she was looking for a way out. Out of what exactly, I'm not sure. Sometimes people just need little escapes. I've taken plenty of them.
Imagine how I felt when I found out that three weeks later she had a boyfriend and was no longer planning on going on a mission. I didn't get to talk to her for a few weeks later when I found out she was planning an escape to another country for a few months in the coming summer. Like I mentioned earlier, she needed an escape.
I don't believe that all girls use the going on a mission excuse just to get out of dating someone. Some do, and it is a terrible thing to lie like that, to use something so sacred and noble as a scapegoat just to get out of dating a particular person. I'd rather the girl just say that they weren't interested. Ladies, Men can handle the truth. On the other side, there are certainly those who truly have their heart's intent upon going on a mission when something happens in their life that alters what they had originally intended. I guess I'm not really defending either side of the discussion, I simply should have chimed into the discussion stating what had happened in my life.
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2 comments:
As a female friend, a think there may have been a miscommunication. I think she was actually describing another incident, when she told someone else entirely she had wasn't over her old boyfriend by a mile, and then three weeks later was dating someone, which didn't happen until three months after she told a certain someone else that she was going on a mission, and a month and a half after she decided in a haze of tears and shock that she wasn't supposed to go after she had her papers almost all the way filled out.
I'm not sure how that miscommunication occurred, maybe that female friend of yours said it wrong that afternoon picking over empty flooring in a gutted, green building. But, to her slim credit, she didn't do that to you.
I suppose you may be right. My female friend didn't give any of the details, so I could have been highly speculating.
Anyway, my point was to mention how this other girl I knew was planning on going on a mission, but for reasons only fully known to her, she didn't. And how the time when I talked with her, I felt that she wanted to get away from her life for a while. Thats what I thought was the reason she wanted to go on a mission. Though who even knows if she reads my blog or not.
I love how you can always show me things in a new light. That brings a smile to my face.
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