Night before

I have an audition tomorrow. And so here I am at 2:30 am wasting time when I really should be sleeping. This seems to be the way I do things of late. I put things off until the last minute when there is nothing to do but to scramble to get everything finished on time. I seem to do this every time I have an audition. I don't seem to take the proper time to prepare a decent piece, causing me to fumble upon my words and ultimately look like a fool in front of those whom I wish would cast me. All the while my brain is debating if I should even go to the audition or just stay home in my little cozy hole and sleep away the shame of not making an appearance.

I just wonder where I picked up this habit. Why do I put it off. I'm sure I could do great in the show, but I haven't had the discipline to create a worthy character for these new directors. I know what you are thinking, why don't I just use a standby piece from one of the shows I've auditioned for in the past. Well Ideally that is what I do, but even then I would need to refresh it. No, this time I wanted to go with something new, something that fit better to the style of show that I'm trying out for. So I went out and searched for something new; finally finding it two days before the audition, leaving only one day to create it. Did I spend the whole day working on it? No. only within the last few hours have I worked upon it. And even then I have mostly just been listening to it. What I should have done is found the piece two weeks ago and then spend my time first finding someone to accompany me while I sing so I learn the piano part, and second spend every free moment from then until now practicing the part, making it the best I could do. No wonder I haven't made it into a show where they actually pay.

I guess I'm off to bed.