Tis the season...

The past few days, I have been trying to put into words just how I feel this particular Christmas season. It has been no easy tast writing, deleting, and rewriting this blog however many hundred times I have done it. And Now I will give it another go, even if my computer is not displaying my words correctly as I type them.

This season, more that any other, has felt less like Christmas than I should have hoped. It could be because of the lack of travel on my part, or the fact that we didn't have a tree, or many other reasons. It just didn't feel like Christmas shoud feel. This year was not like year's past.

Being the youngest, and grown, leaves little of the old traditions that we used to have. No longer do I feel the need for waking up at 4 to scope out what was left under the tree. Usualy because it is already there before I go to bed. My brother was always the first up; I have always been a fan of sleep.

We'd look under the well lit tree for what seemed like hours, sometimes it was. My Parents would refuse to wake up before a certain time. Usually that ment 4 AM. We would sit down and one by one open gifts. Usually Mom would want pictures. I never understood why, all of us looked terrible, something about capturing the moment I guess. After the opeing, parents would be back to bed, while we would fall asleep watching one of the new movies we just aquired. Then around 8 or so, Mom would wake back up and make us breakfast.

All the old traditions are gone now. We have all grown up. It must be that time when I move on, and make new traditions with those I choose to have around me. Sure it is sad to lose those things you love to do, but joy can also be found in the new. I look forward to those many new Christmases. I will strive to make them better than what this one was.

Also don't think that I will be able to keep a new year's tradition that was started up a few years ago. And for that I am sorry. I'm just not able to make it to Idaho this year, even though I really really want to. Maybe the tradition can be altered slightly as to still keep it happening.

I guess what I'm really trying to say is, Merry Christmas to all!

Instead of sleeping...

This past month I have been finding myself staying up later and later, finding more and more excuses why not to go to sleep. I say to myself, if I was going to try to sleep, I would be finding it difficult to do so taking up to an hour to actually fall asleep. So logically, if I stay up for the time that I would just be lying on my back thinking, "I wish I was asleep," then I'm not really wasting any time. And in all reality I could be using my time to actually do something worthwhile. Then I get to starting something and think nah, this something will take so much time to do, and I don't really want to spend that much time doing it. So I don't usually get around to doing much of anything.

And it is at times like this that I'm reminded of a very peculiar little bear who nobody thought did much of anything. He just was. He was different than me. He didn't worry about the time it took to do something, or worry about finishing his tasks. He just went about his way doing what he thought would be best.

And as you can see, my mind has wondered and the post became random. I'm going to bed now.